So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
