dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish you could order shots online.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize