Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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