is your mom at the bar?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
