She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize