she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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