i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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