The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
