bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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