3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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