Whod you bang
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize