if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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