So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize