I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize