I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
