i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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