just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
