Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
