Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
