I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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