you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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