in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
