As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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