Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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