I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
