"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
