I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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