Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
