South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
