Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
