I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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