I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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