But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
