I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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