just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
