I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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