So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
