id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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