I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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