so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I want her autograph on my taint
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
