ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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