I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize