i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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