i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
