i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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