We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
