I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
