Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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