I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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