i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
