Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
