I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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