went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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