question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
please don't ironically join a cult
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