Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it glows. i had to have it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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