would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
