wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
