Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
