dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
