Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
