i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
