youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have post one night stand depression
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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