yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize