Did you just see the Batmobile???
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My liver just had a heart attack.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
