i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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