addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
