its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
